Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and Football - The Spring Game Preview

 

Your MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS v. Your MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS
SPARTAN STADIUM, EAST LANSING, MICHIGAN
1:30 PM, PARKING OPENS AT NOON
TV: BTN, 5 PM SUNDAY; RADIO: SPARTAN RADIO NETWORK; WEB: bigtennetwork.com

There was going to be an elaborate preview of Michigan State's spring game in this space.  I was going to break down each position on the Green and White teams, determine where the edges were, and give you a game prediction.  However, a half-hour ago, I came to a realization - this game doesn't matter.

Why doesn't it matter?  The short answer is that it doesn't count in the standings, and the long answer involves a football variant of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle.  Heisenberg's uncertainty principle states that you can know how fast you're going, or where you are in time and space, but you can't know your velocity and location at the same time.  

How does this relate to football?  Replace velocity with offense and location with defense.  From the statistics Kirk Cousins and Keith Nichol had last year, some fans came out saying "Man, those quarterbacks can really play!"  when, with hindsight being 20-20, they should've said "Man, those quarterbacks can really play, but I'm scared crapless about our secondary."  Since it was hard to tell whether the quarterbacks were really good or the secondary was really bad (the defensive backs had been pretty good in 2008), the majority of fans chose to see the performance through the lens of the offense's talent instead of the defense's ineptitude.

So, what can we determine from tomorrow's game?  Little, if anything.  Last year we found out Kirk Cousins would be a good quarterback, but we sort of already knew that.  The urge is going to be strong to draw concrete, definite conclusions from tomorrow's match; resist it.  

With that said, it's still going to be a great day for football, and a chance for us to reacquaint  ourselves with players we haven't seen in almost four months.  The weather doesn't look to be too pleasant, with a high of 61 forecasted and a 70% chance of rain.  However, this is going to be the only chance we'll have to see Spartan Football for four months, so you might as well get a little wet.  Dampness is temporary, Spartan football is forever.

GO GREEN! OR GO WHITE! DEPENDING ON WHICH TEAM YOU LIKE!


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