FanPost

Michigan State prevails, Beth Mowins checks in to rehab

'Twas a beautiful day in Iowa City. So many things came together wonderfully.

After an Iowa 3-and-out, Michigan State started with the conservative (and somewhat uninspiring) offense but the same stifling defense that frustrates so many opponents.

Up in the booth, Beth Mowins stirred her second Bloody Mary of the morning, and mused that MICHIGAN is really dominating the defensive lines.

As MSU points mounted, Beth upped the ante. Dispensing entirely with the tomato mix, she slammed down neat vodka shots and complimented the newly WASP or newly Jewish Shillique Coleman or Shillique Coldman.

It was fantastic to see both defense and offense shake off the setbacks of the 2nd quarter, and come out absolute beasts. It was badass fullon. Even though the two INT resulted in only 3 points, it definitely disrupted Iowa.

Beth, who'd shifted to Scotch by now, continued complimenting Michigan for playing so well in a hostile Iowa territory.

With the game all-but-decided, Iowa marches down the field pretty impressively and threatens to score. Iowa QB scrambles out of pocket to find a suitable target.

Beth, slurping down a very dry martini, makes a slurred and barely coherent observation about Cook - the Iowa QB.

When all was said and done, Michigan State walked away with a very convincing 26-12 win, proving once and for all that Ferentz may have had Dantonio's number, but the latter has changed. it.

Beth, snatching Joey Galloway's microphone and kneeing him in the nads, screeched on national TV, "Manchester United has beaten the Vancouver Canucks in Kinnick Stadium!"

PS: The ABC commentators just called #77 Taylor Lewan of Michigan a "wonderful and bright young man." #2 Will Gholston respectfully disagrees.

This is a FanPost, written by a member of the TOC community. It does not represent the official positions of The Only Colors, Inc.--largely because we have no official positions.

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