FanPost

Why Lacey's Passing is Different for Me


Lacey-holsworth-michigan-state-rock1_medium

via gamedayr.com



It’s 4am, I can’t sleep (even though I should be, I have a strong enough painkiller to do the job as I recently got my wisdom teeth extracted). I can’t sleep because I can’t get over the passing of Lacey, the sadness, and wondering why things like things like this happen, followed by an immediate flash of the most despicable kind of hatred towards this awful disease that tears life away from people and families without the slightest reason. The name for the disease itself sounds ugly, and one who has dealt with it before can hardly say it without cringing. Cancer is thing I hate most out of the everything in existence, more than pesky wolverines, more than dictators, and more than almost any Criminal on record. Criminals are at least human, they’re mortal, and if one has any faith in an afterlife like I do, they can be assured that at some point they will pay for the wrongs they have committed. Cancer isn’t human, I don’t know what it is, nor do I care to know. Cancer will not pay for the life it has taken, Cancer will never spend time behind bars fopr taking the life of the innocent or weak. Cancer will never have to watch as it’s beloved family member slowly melts away, deteriorating from the inside out. Lacey’s passing isn’t the first brushing I’ve had with this awful disease, and unfortunately, it’d be naïve of me to say it’d be the last (but one can certainly hope). My Grandpa passed of Lung Cancer in November of 2010 after a tough six month battle with the monster inside of him. I’ve found a way to come to terms with him passing, mourn every Saturday night before I go to bed (He passed on a Saturday) by talking to him via prayer (so maybe mourn isn’t the right word.) It still hurts, he was my best friend, we were the Cliché. If he was still around he’d be bugging about not having a girlfriend and asking me what kind of car he could buy for me to help me pick one up (at risk of sounding pathetic). But Lacey’s passing is different; I never lost sleep over my Grandpa’s passing, nor did I spontaneously begin writing about it. I guess maybe it’s because I saw my Grandpa, felt him, saw him get buried, at the very least his passing was tangible to me. I live six hours away from Michigan, so though I felt like I knew Lacey in a way, I can’t attend a memorial, or a vigil to make it tangible. It’s also a whole different because when my Grandpa passed he was 73, had a wife, home, children, and grandchildren. I am the eldest of his grandchildren; I was 13 at the time of his passing. We made those 13 years great, packed them full of memories and conversations I’ll never forget. When I have children I’ll tell them about what a great man he was, and how much he would’ve loved them. Lacey however, is not and will not be 73, she will not have a husband, or children, and this bothers me. My Grandpa at least had a full life, Lacey had 8 years. Lacey did turn those eight years into something miraculous however, and she is a miracle in doing so. Lacey, like Izzo said, filled her last month or so with more experiences than a life time would hold. Maybe it’s different because my Grandpa passing was not a shock, though we hoped for a miracle we prepared for the worst. While with Lacey, there was no doubt in my mind that she was going to beat the Cancer, and do it with her angelic smile on her face no less. Maybe that’s why I’m not sleeping, it is the pure shock, the realization that the world will still through a curve ball at you, no matter how cruel it seems. Its 4:30 now and I have to think of a way to end this, which will go something like this. Lacey, in the four months I followed her story taught me more than a lifetime in a classroom could, she inspired more than any other story, or Lombardi quote. Lacey captivated me more than a football game or sporting event ever could, I remember when I tagged her in a tweet and she favorited it, I got more star struck than when Darqueze Dennard responded to me on twitter. So it’ll end like this. Goodnight Lacey, wherever you are, dancing happily if you see my Grandpa, don’t be afraid to show him you beautiful smile and say hello, he is a great person, and would’ve been rooting for you the same way I did. #LoveLikeLacey

This is a FanPost, written by a member of the TOC community. It does not represent the official positions of The Only Colors, Inc.--largely because we have no official positions.

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