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Being a college football fan is to unequivocally love something with virtually no reciprocity or control. Pretty much only Phil Knight (Oregon) or T. Boone Pickens (Oklahoma State), have any major impact upon their programs. Making noise at the stadium is both the most overrated and replaceable element of fandom; a checkbook and a voice box would accomplish the same thing. The experience in the stands takes a back seat to the TV broadcast anyways. The most powerful man on the field is the TV timeout guy in the red hat and shirt.

You wake up at 5:00 AM on your day off to prepare and then drive an hour to your alma mater.
You show up at 7:00 AM to your tailgating lot and set up.
You stuff yourself full of unhealthy food and beverages, and catch up with old college friends.
You wait 15 minutes in line to pee.
You start to break down your tailgate an hour before the game starts.
You walk for 15 minutes to get to the game.

It is raining. You did not prepare for rain.
You sing the fight song and say hi to the people who usually sit near you.
There are some new folks sitting in your seats, and it takes several minutes to sort out where they should be sitting. They will leave soon anyways.
Your team capitalizes on some mistakes by your overmatched opponent. You're up 21-0.
It rains harder and the wind gusts get more stiff. Some of your group begins to leave.
You decide to stick it out. It's a beautiful day for football.

It is halftime, and you feel bad for the band. It must suck to have to play an instrument in a wool uniform in this weather.
Your sweatshirt is soaked through, and you might as well have taken your jeans out of the washer 5 minutes ago. At least they'd be clean.
Your group of four decides to get a better view of the game. You get to the 10th row at about the 20 yard line. Your friend exclaims, "I wish I was rich!"

Your team is faltering. Your punter can't handle a snap in the conditions and gives a short field to your opponent.
Your kicker misses a short field goal. Your opponent scores again.
Your team puts together a drive and takes a two-score lead. You exhale. You can see your breath.
Your opponent scores again. The only time you can feel your hands is during the sting of clapping during the fight song.
Your team can't drive to put away the game. Your opponent calls timeout before fourth down.

The red hat TV timeout guy comes on the field, and then it happens.

It starts out in a standard fashion. What remains of the student section yells "Go Green."
"Go White"
"Go Green"
You figure it'll dissipate like any other, but the "Go Green" keeps coming back
"Go White"
"Go Green"
You hear the south side of the stadium actually getting louder than the north side with the student section. Non-students were better prepared.
"Go White"
"Go Green"
Your voice cracks.. "Go Whieiete" ... how long is this TV timeout!?
"Go Green"
"Go White"
Nothing else is said in the stadium.
"Go Green"
"Go White"
You are surrounded by people who would prefer pneumonia to not watching the second half.
"Go Green"
"Go White"
Your team, which might have a chance at a national championship for the first time in 50 years, might lose in front of 10,000 people at home.
"Go Green"
"Go White"
You don't know how long you or your friends will stay close enough to get tickets together and keep tailgating.
"Go Green"
"Go White"
This is it, right here. This is why you put yourself through the whole experience. Because other people are, too.
"Go Green"
"Go White"
Do you hear us, Red Hat?!
---
Your team punts the ball away, and gets the stop it needs.

As a college football fan, even your existential crises are meaningless.



This is a FanPost, written by a member of the TOC community. It does not represent the official positions of The Only Colors, Inc.--largely because we have no official positions.