After being MIA for a couple weeks, this feature returns from its slumber. Let's see how the Big Ten susses out:
#1 - GREATEST TEAM OF ALL TIME: Iowa - The only perfect Big Ten team, they should crush MSU by 120 under the lights of Spartan Stadium. A Kirk Ferentz statue will be erected in Iowa City that will make The Statue of Liberty look like a Barbie doll. No, I'm not trying to reverse jinx the Hawkeyes. Not. One. Bit.
#2 - Penn State - Steamrolling their way through the Big Ten one 20-point victory at a time. The challenge this week will be to score enough points - they won't blank Michigan.
#3 - Ohio State - Yes, ranking OSU at number three felt as dirty as watching the 1st half of Michigan-Delaware State. However, they beat Wisconsin in spite of their offense, and thus cling to the bronze position. One more slip-up and they're going to #4, possibly #5 depending on the week's events.
#4 - Wisconsin - Most likely better than Ohio State, and should've beat them if Scott Tolzien hadn't thrown those interceptions. Purdue, Michigan, Northwestern, and Indiana remain in the Big Ten schedule, and I don't see the Badgers losing more than one of those games.
#5 - Michigan State - Good news - MSU hasn't lost to Iowa in East Lansing since 1995. The bad news - all streaks have to end sometime (see South Bend, 2009).
#6 - Michigan - Point of pride - everyone sitting in the right side of the 50 in Ann Arbor got to score a touchdown last week. Point of concern - Michigan goes up against the rushing, passing, and total defense leader in Penn State. The only Big Ten team they've put up more than 30 points against was Indiana, and more than 30 points is probably what Michigan will need to win.
#7 - Minnesota - Who'd have thought the defensive unit would be better than the offense this year for the Golden Gophers? Now they get to play a ticked-off Ohio State team who will look to put at least 50 points on the board. The offense might even score some of those.
#8 - Purdue - Hey, there's some hope for the Boilermakers after all! They'll carry over all that momentum...to Camp Randall. Well, it was fun while it lasted.
#9 - Northwestern - The central tenet of the Northwestern passing offense: all pass routes are cut off at ten yards. Fly, Post, Out routes -once you hit the marker on 1st down, plant both feet firmly and wait for the ball.
#10 - Indiana - The Hoosiers will not be the worst team in the Big Ten this year. In Bloomington, that's called progress.
#11 - Illinois - No help at QB in sight, one heck of a porous defense, [COACH REDACTED] signed until 2014...here's a tip Illini fan, set up camp at Assembly Hall, and do not leave until you hear the words "Zook", "fired", and "catapult" all in the same sentence.