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Spartan football charts, updated for last season, with brief commentary

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(It's a lame haiku, see?)

Mike Carter-US PRESSWIRE

Preface: This is mainly just a way to distract myself from tweeting more baseless speculation about the quarterback competition.  It's an update of a post from 12 months ago.  Because a picture (/chart) is worth a thousand words, I have limited my commentary on each chart to 17 syllables.

Offense1_medium

Pass game fell off cliff.
Reason for optimism:
Can't get any worse.

Offense2_medium

No problem with picks.
Definite problems with sacks.
Worse without short throws.

Oline_medium

Might this be the year
AMSUOLHG
Stays home and takes nap?

Defense1_medium

A graph so lovely.
Eight starters return, great depth.
Extend trendlines, please.

Defense2_medium

OK, let's nitpick.
Have to get to QB more.
Rush or Calhoun leap?

[But, seriously, does anyone have any quarterback rumors?  Were any of them seen sitting closer to the starting offensive linemen in the cafeteria?  What numbers did Brad Salem pick when he bought his lottery ticket on the way home last night?]