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Michigan State Spartans Football: If Every B1G Team was a Republican Presidential Candidate

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Joe draws some dubious analogies

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

After last night's Republican debate, I thought it might be fun to compare Big Ten programs to GOP candidates. Also, I've included every team's 2015 projected FEI (Fremeau Efficiency Index) and there are some surprises at the bottom. The Only Colors has no political affiliation.

Ohio State  (FEI #1) - Jeb Bush

Look, he's not a sexy pick. But the Bush family, like the Buckeyes, have had success at the highest levels for years. Also like the Bush family, many people find Ohio State totally infuriating.

Michigan State (FEI #10) - Marco Rubio

After the last go-round (2012 for Rubio, 2013 for MSU) people thought they would be the front-runners. They may have lost some ground, but there are plenty of reasons for optimism (Rubio's broad support, Michigan State's offensive and defensive lines).

Wisconsin (FEI #22) - Scott Walker

Scott Walker referred to himself as "aggressively normal" and I think that might be the best way to describe Wisconsin's rushing offense. They've both got a puncher's chance, and they're both from, uh, Wisconsin.

Nebraska (FEI #32) - Mike Huckabee

They've both had high levels of success in the past (Huckabee won Iowa in 2008) and seem likable enough. But they seem somewhat out of touch and you don't know where they're headed (Huckabee hasn't held office since 2007).

Michigan (FEI #36) - Donald Trump

This might have been the entire reason I decided to write this post:

I'd add that both Trump and Michigan, despite huge media coverage, have virtually no shot of winning.

Penn State (FEI #39) - Rand Paul

Rand Paul is "a different kind of Republican." Well, much like Paul following in the footsteps of his father, Penn State is getting back to being their own type of program by removing player names again. Good luck with that, the both of you.

Minnesota (FEI #48) - John Kasich

They 're very nice and have been surging a bit lately. But you have to wonder about their ability to keep it up and truly contend. If others gaffe and drop out of the race (I'm looking at you, Scott Walker/Wisconsin) then their chances will dramatically improve.

Iowa (FEI #52) - Lindsey Graham

They both seem really down on themselves, guys. Also we're firmly in Lloyd Christmas "So you're saying there's a chance?" territory.

Northwestern (FEI #56) - Ben Carson

Clearly intelligent, but with little to no chance of winning. They're certainly unusual candidates, though.

Illinois (FEI #82) - Carly Fiorina

Racked up enough wins to win the JV debate make a bowl game.

Indiana (FEI #83) - Rick Santorum

Downright offensive.

Maryland (FEI #89) - Ted Cruz

Maryland fans, like Ted Cruz, are just generally annoying. Also Maryland hates Duke, which makes this comparison hilarious:

Purdue (FEI #95) - Jim Gilmore

Who? Exactly. Irrelevant since the early '00s.

Rutgers (FEI #97) - Chris Christie

They're not even liked within their home state of New Jersey.