A lot has happened since the last time you have talked to most of your family, and for good reason, those people are crazy. But this year may be a little more difficult when college football gets brought up.
Like so many Spartans, you’re at least tangentially related to a Michigan fan. Whether it’s your cousin’s new boyfriend, a Michigan sophomore who “knows more about football than anyone,” according cousin Tracy. Or maybe it’s your uncle Rick, who never actually went to UofM, but wears yellow and blue at every family event. Or it could be your aunt Karen, who never misses a chance to bring up Michigan’s historic success when she was a student.
Regardless of who it is, they are insufferable, and they have plenty of thoughts – and they are all headed for you at warp speed.
Fortunately, we are all going to get through this together. So hurry up and grab your adult beverage of choice, and let’s figure out the best way to handle all of the nonsense.
For some, it’s going to start right as you walk through the door. For others it may be a slow burn, letting you drop your coat and get settled before college football is first brought up. But regardless of when it starts, the first comments will be “jokes.” Asking if the Spartans have already played their bowl game this year, or asking if they are playing in the Hostess Cupcake Bowl Game.
These are easy to push back on – but be careful, overreacting is going to give them exactly what they want. Instead of jumping down their throat, respond with a joke about the Tampa Bay Times not remembering who is playing in the Outback Bowl.
As the night goes on, the justification will begin. They will start to explain why it makes perfect sense for Michigan to be picked for a New Year’s Day bowl. The more evolved of them won’t try and defend the team, but will say it happened because of the Michigan fan base. This will only infuriate you more. Some may even fall back on the old classic, claiming the Michigan loss to MSU was a fluke.
This is when you have the chance to go in hard on them. You can go full Dantonio here, reminding them how consistently MSU has dominated the rivalry. After that, start killing them with stats from this season.
None of this is actually going to convince them of anything, but it will be therapeutic.
It’s not going to be easy dealing with any of the nonsense from your crazy family. But it will all be over soon enough. Just remember, Michigan State is still the better football team, and basketball is going to be really fun all year long.