Ranking the appeal of every 2017 MSU football game

Here’s something I never thought I would say after a 3-9 season: “Man, can the games just start again?”

This offseason is getting worse by the week, and damn it, I’m trying hard to find some nice things to write about for my Spartan family.

So screw it, let’s break this schedule down. No, not to see what games the Spartans will win or lose.

We are breaking down to see what games we are going to have the most fun during. What games have the best appeal. What games we can’t wait to see the kickoff too.

In this incredibly scientific ranking, I looked at venue and atmosphere (home games>road games, duh), quality of opponent, atmosphere and what could possibly be at stake.

Let’s do this.

1. Sept. 23 vs. Notre Dame

I’m prepping for the tailgate to this game right now. Hydrating. Carbo-loading. The works.

This has a strong chance to be a night game, and it will be the first huge game of the season for the Spartans. The stadium will be absolutely rocking for this game, and man won’t it be nice to have positive, euphoric energy surrounding this team again?

Let’s make this a two game win streak against the Irish, gang.

2. Nov. 4 vs. Penn State

This is a close second as it’s arguably the best team rolling into Spartan Stadium this season.

Penn State snatched MSU’s title of top Big Ten East team last year, and on paper they’ll only be better this year. If this is a night game, this could have upset special written all over it. At the very least, it will be another great atmosphere that could (hopefully) have bowl game implications.

Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports

3. Oct. 7 at Michigan

My memory is fading with age and I can’t remember what happened last time we played there.

Oh yeah, we were down two points without the ball and 10 seconds left. I turned off the TV and never saw a replay. I’m assuming we lost, right?

4. Sept. 2 vs. Bowling Green

This game will be like a stranded man in the desert finding a water pool after four days of thirst. I’ll fall to my knees, cry and soak it all in because that means this offseason is finally over.

I’ve never been to any other college’s opening game day, but I can safely say MSU’s is the best. I’m sure that can be scientifically proven somehow.

5. Nov. 11 at Ohio State

“I’m not so sure about this game in Columbus” has been said twice in my head. The second time is right this instance. The other time was The Michel Geiger Windmill Holy Crap We Just Beat This Loaded OSU Team At Their Home Stadium Without Connor Cook Game.

I’m confident this will be a big game. That’s all I’m confident about.

6. Sept. 30 vs. Iowa

I hope every time MSU is within 10 yards of the end zone they give LJ Scott the ball. I also hope he stretches his arm – necessary or not – over the goal line for those touchdowns.

Random thought: I remember not even having fun watching that Big Ten Championship Game. That game was a business meeting and I stressed away a decade off my life. I have a problem.

Caylor Arnold-USA TODAY Sports

7. Sept. 9 vs. Western Michigan

This will be a cool game because it gives you and your Western buddies a reason to tailgate together. And PJ Fleck is gone, which is nice.

8. Oct. 21 vs. Indiana (Homecoming)

It sounds dumb now, but we will rejoice that this game is happening when the day comes. Why? Because it’s the only time MSU is at home in the month of October.

We’ll never be so excited to see the Hoosiers take on the Spartans.

9. Nov. 18 vs. Maryland

Home game.

Revenge game.

D.J. Durkin is a bum defensive back that can’t stop R.J. Shelton.

Likely bowl game implications.

That’s all I got for you.

Mitch Stringer-USA TODAY Sports

10. Oct. 14 at Minnesota

Welp, we couldn’t dodge P.J. Fleck forever. Road game against Minnesota isn’t the hottest game in the world, but it will still be a fun one.

11. Oct. 28 at Northwestern

Shoutout to the Chicago Spartans, hope you find a way to grab a ticket to this game.

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74. Watching two drunk guys play catch at a tailgate

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218. Mowing the lawn during the bye week

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513. Nov. 25 at Rutgers