Another week has apparently come and gone in this strange world we find ourselves in currently, and with it our final Marvel Universe theme of the week draws to a close. What is today’s article in relation to our Michigan State Spartans? Well obviously we have left out the villains so far, so that is the theme for today (as you could clearly see from the title). So without further ado, shall we?
Rutgers Scarlet Knights - The Outriders (Avengers)
The mindless alien minions of Thanos’s army are exactly what this Jim Delaney special amount to: mindless slaughter for the Big Ten masses in the pursuit of BTN’s mission: countless Delaney bucks.
Maryland Terrapins - Dormammu (Doctor Strange)
Dormammu is an ugly but powerful being who commands the dark dimension. Maryland is a school boasting an ugly state flag on their uniforms and joined from the Big Ten from that dark conference known as the ACC.
Penn State Nittany Lions - Obadiah Stane (Iron Man)
Obadiah rides on the coat tails of Tony Stark, leaching off of his intelligence and ingenuity while squandering all of the good Stark Industries seeks to achieve in helping to defeat America’s enemies. James Franklin uses Penn State football’s reputation to recruit quality players and inventive assistants like Joe Moorehead to advance himself, all while squandering everything in the big games with play calls like fourth and five inside zone plays with the game on the line.
Ohio State Buckeyes - Thanos (Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame)
Thanos is a truly evil and powerful being who crushes everyone in his path in pursuit of his fanatical idea of greatness. Ohio State has coaches who punch opposing players, overlooks tattoos, and all other manner of transgressions in their dominance of the Big Ten.
Michigan Wolverines - Nebula (Guardians of the Galaxy/Vol. 2)
Indiana Hoosiers - Vulture (Spider-Man: Homecoming)
Vulture has a temper at times you feel like might cause him to throw a chair across the court during an opponent’s free throw attempts, or that might cause him to go into a profanity heavy rant about Purdue. However, he also feels like someone whose time has run its course, and his days of running as a kingpin are numbered.
Purdue Boilermakers - Ayesha (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)
The gold queen is head of a society of social engineers who jealously guard their batteries. Purdue is an engineering school who has a color close to gold in their school colors. She also proves entirely ineffective with her air raids on the Guardians (unlike Purdue in 1998). Straight forward enough everyone?
Illinois Fighting Illini - Ego (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2)
In part, it’s the beard of Lovie Smith and Ego’s beard. However, it is also the fact that it seems like the state itself of Illinois is always expanding its tentacles across the midwest to take over everything else.
Northwestern Wildcats - Whiplash (Iron Man 2)
Whiplash is an incredibly talented and smart villain. Only someone with the same level of knowledge would be likely to get into Northwestern. However, when it comes to executing that intelligence in the sports world, NU proves just as inept most of the time as Whiplash does trying to defeat Iron Man. Sure they get some good hits, but they never sustain it in the long battle.
Wisconsin Badgers - Helmut Zemo (Captain America: Civil War)
Zemo was basically pure evil vengeance. Wisconsin is a state filled with people so drunk and so dreading of their next cholesterol test they distract themselves with sports while trying to ruin the experience for every opponent they encounter out of jealousy.
Iowa Hawkeyes - Erik Killmonger (Black Panther)
Killmonger is a villain you can’t help but feel sympathetic for. His father was killed and left him orphaned. Nobody cares about him or his heritage. Yet, he is borderline insane, completely set in his own idea of how things should be run, and has a temper. Similarly, Kirk Ferentz is someone who is completely set in his ideas and you almost feel sympathetic for as a human, while Fran is an angry man who at times chases referees into tunnels to scream at them. This seems like an apt comparison to me as a result.
Minnesota Golden Gophers - Justin Hammer (Iron Man 2)
Justin Hammer is almost a like-able guy. He is at times legitimately funny, and somehow heads up a somewhat competent company. The Gophers at times seem like a competent operation and are generally like-able. However, in the end they are never really a true threat to anyone beyond helping others wreak their best havoc on the conference.
Nebraska Cornhuskers - Loki (Thor/The Avengers)
You never really know what you’re going to get with Loki. One the one hand, you start off assuming he is a fairly powerful but good guy, but then it turns out he is bent on absolute control. However, his plans for ruling always seem to fall flat on their face in the end. Finally you are left wondering whether he is in fact dead or not. That’s sort of how Nebraska’s tenure in the B1G has gone so far: comes in generally jovial but intent on establishing themselves as the B1G leader, winds up falling flat on their face, and now you’re wondering if they’re dead or not.
Notre Dame Fighting Irish - Ulysses Klaue (Avengers: Age of Ultron/Black Panther)
An insane but zealous murderer, and a generally dislikable loner. Notre Dame, also a generally dislikable loner with a zealous fanbase.
Duke Blue Devils - Ebony Maw (Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame)
Just like how Ebony Maw tortures Doctor Strange as the evil sorcerer that he is, Coach K tortures us Spartan fans with his evil witchcraft on the court and recruiting trail far too often.
Kansas Jayhawks - Francis Freeman (Deadpool)
Francis is basically just a dirtbag who wants to cheat death. Kansas is a dirty program that cheats to win. This is the easiest comparison of this entire week.
Alma Scots - Cull Obsidian (Avengers: Infinity War/Endgame)
Fun educational lesson of the day: Alma is the football opponent MSU has played the most that is not a member of the B1G. The Spartans are 22-5-4 against the Scots all-time. Given the era of modern football we all know, it is easy to forget this. Similarly, given the almost non-existant role Cull Obsidian has as a brute thug of Thanos in the series, it is easy to forget he exists except for that rare moment of seeing the sheer size of him when he is on the screen (like the sheer size of games played against Alma).
Double-Bonus Dr. Suess Round:
Bo Ryan aka. the Grinch #borderbattle #BetterDeadThanRed #Gophers pic.twitter.com/LFrLb4LkpZ— Not Richard Pitino (@RichardPitino) February 13, 2014